Too strong a knowledge



Not that I had a revelation
like some fucking luny
I just know
I have come to know it all
the futility
the evil
the wickedness
the ways of this world
the hopelessness
I admit
the beauty of the cowslips on my lawn
but still
the ugliness
the deceit the murders the torture
the arrogance the corruption
I discovered it 
not one night
but during ten thousand nights
and days
why
enter this world
just to suffer through it till the end
why
try to improve it
charity? politics? 
surely not science?

OK we're good
we're really good
and some people get a decent meal
some get healed
some get their remedies
with some it even works
while their rulers
slowly descend into their
hot tubs
once again opening their golden faucets
once again trying to 
put everyone out of their misery
and into it
at the same time
first things first
now I know it
I have come to know it all
the futility
the evil
the wickedness
the ways of this world
the hopelessness
and the worst thing
well
maybe not the worst thing
but still
pretty damn bad
is that I must keep it all
to myself
maybe everyone knows it
maybe they all figured it out
by themselves
separately
at one time or another
even before I did
maybe
and maybe they're as good
at silence as I am
but still
I must keep it to myself
I wouldn't like to crack up a party
I wouldn't like to say it out loud
to tell my mother
my friends
my neighbors
I couldn't bear to be the guilty one
of bringing on the dire message
I know it would cause
even more harm
me telling it all
wouldn't it drown cities?
wouldn't it bury villages?
wouldn't it crash planes?
wouldn't it flood rivers?
and melt the Antarctic?
I think it would silence the birds
it would scare cats
it would keep moles digging
deeper and deeper
and flood rivers
and drown cities
it would quake the earth
and kill neighbors
and flood moles and men




[2005-2006]